In the language of flowers,
Rosemary equates to remembrance.
So, let me give them to you
So that you may remember me until the end of time.
In the language of flowers,
Daisies equate to innocence.
So, let me give them to you
So that you may forever see the world for its beauty.
In the language of flowers,
Jonquil equates to the desire for the return of affection.
So let me give them to you
So that you may recognize my desire for your affection.
In the language of flowers,
Roses equate to love and passion
So let me give them to you
So that you may understand how much I love you.
Roses equate to love and passion
So let me give them to you
So that you may understand how much I love you.
In the language of flowers,
I speak to you.
But
You do not understand.
For I speak a language that you do not know.
For you smell no scent for the wind does blow.
For when you hold roses, you are pricked by thorns.
So you leave me hopeless, alone, and forlorn.
On May 12, 2018, I typed this poem onto the “Notes” application of my phone. I was actually quite heartbroken, and I was honestly very sad. I was struggling to overcome an obstacle in my life that seemed impossible to go through. However, I am here now, and I am still going strong.
Around 70 weeks ago (December 8, 2017), I came across a “prompt” of some sort instructing to determine flowers you would give to a character in the play Hamlet or to yourself. I took my own twist to this prompt, and I decided to write a small poem; after all, it tends to be the individual who is in a state of heartbreak who writes the most emotional poetry. In retrospect, it’s almost “cringey” to revisit, but I think that it’s important to see the change that I’ve experienced in over a year.
Dear Jed,
This is an amazing poem. You are a phenomenal writer with words that catch the eyes and heart of your readers. This was well written which made me enjoy it very much. I hope that life ends up better for you after this heartbreak. I truly loved reading this and I am intrigued how you can make words flow so well.
This piece is difficult to give feedback to since it was well written. However, I would suggest to maybe change the last phrase, “So you leave me hopeless, alone, and forlorn.” so that it keeps your theme of rhyming, which is evident within the second part, consistent. So maybe change forlorn, since the word before (alone) is a similar word.
As I said before this is an amazing piece. Keep up the great work and I can not wait to read more.
Sincerely,
Elena
Dear Jed,
I should probably start this off by saying that the topic of emotional love is not something I normally enjoy reading about. However, this was different, and it wasn’t too sappy, just pure feelings. I loved your use of comparison of different sacrifices you need to make towards people with flowers, that’s GENIUS! Then, you used repetition to constantly keep that comparison all the way till the end and its just brilliant!
I honestly had to carefully read over your poem multiple times to find something to give constructive feedback on, and the ones I did find were very minor. For example, upon reading it twice it becomes occupant that you used affection twice that didn’t really contribute to the repetition properly. I would suggest a thesaurus or just use a different word.
Overall this is excellent, and is the kinda stuff Mrs. Hunniset should use for examples, because this is amazing!
-Jimmy
Dearest Jed,
First of all, I absolutely love your blog! This poem was especially beautiful and I adore how you chose colors for the different flowers. How did you do that?! I could really feel the hopelessness within your poem and seeing this aspect of you has really warmed me. Heartbreak has a way of manifesting into words and you captured that perfectly.
My only improvement would be to add in punctuation within your phrases: ” So, ” that will add more breathe in between your lines. Other than that – I wish it was longer!
Keep writing and sharing your beautiful mind!
So much love and respect for you,
Liza
Dear Jed,
I loved reading this poem of yours and it really cheered me up. I like how you used powerful examples of symbolism to convey your overall message. In Addition, the way you stayed on topic throughout the poem fascinated me a lot as I find it very hard to do it myself.
I myself couldn’t find any errors however when I further checked your poem I found out that the poem wasn’t more than 350 words as Mrs. Hunniset would like. So my only suggestion would be to add more words to your poem or explanation so that it matches the criteria as you were only a couple of words short.
Other than that I really enjoyed this piece of yours.
Sincerely,
Muhammed
Dear Jed,
I loved your use of symbolism and colours to emphasize and bring this poem to life. The colours really stand out and give a lot more meaning to this. The use of the different flowers and the overall meaning to this poem just makes this piece so fantastic.
I personally couldnt find any errors in grammar or format except for the word count. Adding a few more words would make this poem the greatest it can be.
Keep up the amazing work!
Sincerely,
Nick